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What if’s and is it meant to be?

Many of us ask ourselves the same question. What if? We ask this when we are faced with a difficult or tricky situation. The thing is, we ask this when things have already played out. We can not change the past. We can only change the present and change our path for the future if needed.

We are told that if it’s meant to be, it will be. Most people are impatient. We can not wait till we have what or who we desire. But, if we rush….we can change the timing for everything. The day you decide to go out for lunch. And as you are eating, your past lover walks in. And you remember everything with them. Maybe they were the one that hurt you so bad. And instead of saying hi, you choose not to. Maybe they were the one that got away. And you wish that things turned out differently. You look at them and say hi. And talk for a bit. But, then you part ways again, hoping to see them again soon. Months or years later pass by, and then it happens again. You bumped into them. You start to talk again and then it’s like, things pick up where you both left off.

You question, what if we didn’t bumped into each other? What if he or she never messaged me? What if….? Okay, think about this for a minute. What if it was meant to be that you were to be there at that time? What if you reconnected and started to talk again? What if you both not only remembered how it was with you two as a couple, but you start to think that this person deserves a second chance? What if they are thinking the same thing? What if they are thinking….will he or she give me a second chance? What if the person says no?

You don’t know unless you take the risk and go find out the answer. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

What if you took that chance and it was meant to be? Maybe it wasn’t to work out back then because you both were not on the same page. Maybe it’s because you both needed to grow within and mature. Maybe it’s because…..it’s just all in Divine timing.

Divine timing is not time we can control. Not something we can manipulate to our own timing. It is something that is timed perfectly, so that all can work out just as it’s meant to be. Because if we tried to control the outcome, it would not work out as it should. And maybe that’s just the way it’s suppose to work out. We may not see how things are playing out in the right timing. But maybe we are not meant to see it. Not till it’s time. And then….we see it. And we understand why it had to work out just as it did.

So stop thinking about the what if’s. If it’s meant to be, it will be. And it’ll be all the worth while that you waited patiently for it. Nothing is ever long lasting when we rush. Don’t rush. Take your time. And be in the present moment.

In love and light ,

Amanda

“What we find in a soulmate is not something wild to tame but something wild to run with.” – Robert Brault

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Lost

We all have gone through times where we feel lost. And we don’t know how to get out. Sometimes we are there for a short time. Sometimes it is much longer. It is only up to you to get out of feeling lost.

I have heard all too many times of people feeling lost. But found themselves with the help of others. These people turn to others to guide them out of the darkness they are so lost in. I have been those people that people turn to. I have been this person for years. Where so many are lost. They are needing to confine in. They are needing to get secrets out and things off their mind, so they can sleep better. So they can feel a bit of relief. But, the part they don’t know is…..they did it all on their own.

I have a way to get people to see that they are not lost. That they don’t need someone with them, to find themselves. That all they need is guidance. It is something I have done for years. I just have this way of helping others. And I love helping others like that. It is so beautiful to see someone truly find what they thought they lost within themselves.

Recently, this happened to someone I love very dearly. We reconnected a few weeks ago. He was lost. But found himself, more so while just being around me. Although I know he still needs to work on himself, and he is doing just what he needs to do. And at his own pace. He was lost for so many years. Trying to find his long love in someone else; a long love that he let go of so long ago. He felt like he lost parts of himself, that she always showed that he had within him always. He felt like he lost part of his heart. Part of his inner being. His soulmate. The one he let go of long ago because he was scared of how much she cared and loved him. She too felt lost though. She felt she lost her chance of her happily ever after. But it was her that had to also find herself.

We can not be loved or love someone else till we love ourselves. We can try all we want, but it just won’t happen. It will not be ever the love that we are looking for.

She has taken years to find herself. To know who she is, what she wants and who it is she wants in her life. She no longer feels lost. And she is helping him find himself even more. Helping him see what she sees.

We are not lost. We only feel like this because of certain events that have occurred in our lives. It is only up to us to find our way out of the darkness, out of feeling lost. We can reach out to others that can help guide us. But, understand once they guide us out, these people might have to leave us till it’s time for them to return and help us again. And sometimes we are lucky. Because these people stay with us. And we continue to work together helping each other out of any darkness and into the light we so deeply long for.

This couple I am talking about. I know them all too well. Because I am the girl. I was once lost for so many years. Thinking and feeling I will never get out of feeling like this. And feeling like I lost my chance at happiness. But once I changed my way of thinking. Changed some things in my life. And let go of people who no longer served a purpose in my life, I began to be able to find myself. And I am happy of the person I am today. I love myself. And this is what I needed to do. I needed to be happy with myself in order to be able to give and receive love. The love I want in my life. This man I talk about, I also know him too well. For he is a soulmate of mine. We dated in 2002. Only to find each other again. He left me back then, because he was scared. But now, he no longer feels scared. No longer feels lost. He found what and who he was looking for. And he still continues to find himself.

For the person he was looking for in another….was me all along…..

And if you know this…..we can never find someone in someone else. You feel lost without the person. Okay, I understand. But, I ask you this. Find yourself. Get lost in your own self. There you will find what it is you are looking for. And who. And there you will see…..you are not so lost as you think. So look up and see the stars. And you will find your way.

In love and light always,

Amanda

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If only you really knew

There are times where we are faced with decisions and choices in life. It could be concerning our health and well being or it could be as small as….”Hmmm what should we have for dinner?” For everyone no matter what the topic is, we are faced with deciding on what to do.

When I was in high school (which was not that long ago might I add), we did not have phones to hide behind and text someone things like “will you be my date to the prom?”, or “will you go out with me?”. It was simply, writing a letter and have the guts to give it to them, or talk to them in person. Not easy back then. And if not, we just didn’t say anything.

Nowadays we have simply become more involved with using technology, and less, shall I say “opening our mouths”. We hide behind the screens, the emojis, and can not see someone’s actual face reaction, unless they “face time” or video us. That’s if they want to! Times have changed, yes, I know. We rely so much on hiding behind a screen though, that we are hiding from our true emotions. And for what? Fear of rejection, that we think may come in a better way? Fear of not knowing how it will go? Fear if we will get the job? Or will I have to move? These are the people we want to be with. Give it a go and see if things work out. These are the jobs we desire, or places we want to move to. Or the people we connect with. And instead….we hide.

I know how you feel and what you are doing. I had hide my thoughts for so many years for fearing what people may think or react about it, that I was hiding from my true self. Well, I changed that last summer. Or so I thought. This was around the time when the Solar eclipse was in Leo. You see, I did in fact stop hiding my thoughts. But….then again. I didn’t. I have been hiding my true emotions, pertaining to a personal matter. For fear of so many things. It’s scary to not know what the outcome could be. Or that a fear will come true. And yet, all this time, some of us long to say something. But choose not to.

If you are “old school” like me, you write in a journal or letters. This is how I have hidden my emotions. On paper. Not too brilliant might I add (for the reason that someone might read them). But stay with me here! We write things out to get them out of in the open. But, then we do not share it. We keep thoughts in our heads and drive ourselves crazy at times. Instead of talking to someone about them. But, why? What if you were to share your emotions with a caring heart? What if you were to take that risk? What if only they knew…..
I have felt great strength within my soul. I have had the courage to do things I would never have done. And I have been asked about some things and never lied. Yet, my knees unbuckle and at the same time I feel very comfortable, I still fear. Confusing that sounds, I know.

If we do not share our thoughts and ideas, we can miss opportunities. If we do not share our emotions, we can stay stuck. I have heard from so many people, “If only I said something”, “If only I showed I cared more”, “If only they knew…”. It is when we think things like this, that we should speak about our emotions. Instead of bottling it up inside, or keep hidden. Now think if you were never given the opportunity again. Would you be okay living with that decision? That choice. What happens if there was not another chance to see that person again. You still okay with not saying anything?

You only get to live life once. So, don’t hold anything back. If you have questions, ask them. If you have a thought or an idea, say it. If you have emotions, don’t keep them inside. Talk to someone. It’s not healthy to keep everything in.

Wouldn’t it be better to get it out?

In Love and Light,

Amanda

 

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You are a fighter

Some times in life we receive news that are good. But, some times, they aren’t so good…..these can be one of those times.

One day we are just going about our day and we receive a phone call or a message. It’s one we do not look forward to receiving. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we are doing, it’ll happen whenever.

About 6 yrs ago, I got a phone call just like this one. My boss told me, that she had news she was not wanting to give me. And like the fiery person I am, I told her….just give it to me! I was having a tough day that day, because I just got injured at work and was in so much pain. My boss slowly told me that a co-worker I had worked with so closely had just died. My heart broke. This co-worker had just hurt herself on the ice, in her driveway earlier that winter. I had told her that my opposite wrist from hers had gotten a hair line fracture years prior. So I knew the pain she must have felt. A pain that would come and go with every rainfall and cold winter. A pain called rheumatoid arthritis. Something that happened with past injuries, like ours as one example.

In that early month of Feb 2012, I had seen her on her way down to her department. I had been moved to my old department within the store a few months prior. She walked by me and said “Good Morning!” like she usually did on her way down. And we chatted for a bit. I asked how her wrist was doing from the fall she had on her driveway and she told me about the pain she had continued to fight. She then said she had to head on downstairs and I told her to have an amazing day, aside from her pain, and she told me to do the same. She had gotten sick a few days later. And stayed home for a bit. And a few days after that, I got injured at work. That day we chatted was the last day I would ever see her little did I know.

Five days later after my injury, she left the physical world. She died of an aneurysm.

A few years ago, another friend who was a co-worker (at the same company) I used to work with, passed away. I found out this through a Facebook post. She left behind a husband and a one year old daughter. And she lost her fight to cancer. I remembered the last thing I told this friend. And that was, “Keep fighting!! I know you will win this battle and have that family you always dreamed of having!” Little did I know that was the last time I saw her. She had fought a long time and for a while, I had no idea what she was battling. Till one day sh told me…..

Earlier this winter, we received 50 centimeters of snow or more within two days. I had gone out to see if one of my neighbors could help me get my car out of the snow. But while out we were out there, we saw another neighbor plowing more snow that he had just finished plowing. This being because the city plow trucks had just dumped more snow on his walk way that he just did. I asked my neighbor who helped me, to please go help him with shoveling, as I could not due to my injury. We all started to chat outside. It was nice. But we then found out that he has been fighting cancer for about 10 years. And so this freshly dumped snow was not going to get the best of him. He told us that he is giving up on doing anymore chemo treatments. And instead wants to live out his life however he wants. I told him, “Keep fighting! My Mom had cancer and fought for a long time too!!” I saw it gave him happiness to know that someone can fight for so long.

Last summer, I reconnected with an old friend. And last week he had a type of aneurysm. Luckily he caught it before it got too serious. But today, I found out how close it is to being much more serious than he previously expected. And now he too is fighting….

The people we have lost will never be forgotten. We keep them alive in our memories and in our hearts. They showed us what strong fighters they were no matter how short or long they fought. And to the ones that continue to fight, they show us that even when they may have no more energy to fight, they continue to do so.

We fight for what we believe in, we fight for our rights. We fight for love, no matter what it may cost us or how long it may take. We fight for reasons some may understand and others may not. And we fight to live…..

We all battle something whether someone sees it or not. We all go through our tough days, some more than others. And it doesn’t matter how long we battle. A battle is a battle. We all have inner strength inside ourselves. And losing a battle does not mean that some have more inner strength than others. It is that strength that whispers to us “You got this. Keep going!”

Today, I also saw a post that someone I knew was having a tough day….but when he bumped into a neighbor, he found out, that the older gentleman had just found out he has cancer. Made my friend’s bad day seem not so bad when in comparison to his neighbor’s. We all have tough days. It is not till we hear or read about someone else’s tougher day or life that we look at our own life and see how good we really have it. No matter what the fight is, there’s a warrior in you. So, you got this! Keep going! I believe and have faith in you. I know you can get through it! So don’t give up!!

In love and light always,

Amanda

“Warriors are not the ones who always win, but the ones that always fight.” – unknown author

 

 

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Something to share

I recently took a trip out west this past July. I took it because I needed to heal from some pain I had kept in for 20 yrs. I also took it because I needed to tell my family something I kept hidden. Something I wanted to share with them. I went out with my Dad alone one Sunday afternoon. Just to have that Father, Daughter, time. I was ready to tell him. Little did I know….he knew for many years what I had a very hard time to tell him.

I struggled to come out with the words, but slowly I built up the courage, took that leap of faith and told him. I am a Medium. I looked into his eyes and saw that once I told him….nothing had changed. I saw the love that he still had. The love of a Father towards his Daughter. And he was fascinated by what I had to say. Even asked questions!

I can somehow hear and see your past loved ones. I have had my gift since I was six years old. I do not know how I can say things or know things, that I shouldn’t know, without being there. I do not know how I can know your exact childhood toy, that you loved to play with, in the fifties. I do not know how I know your Mother or your Father, without meeting them. But…..I do know.

Telling my Dad about this was hard for me to do. I didn’t know if he would accept me, knowing this about me. I didn’t know if he would think I am crazy! Or freak out because this was/is too overwhelming for him. Telling my Dad this and finding out that he has known for many years, waiting for me to tell him; has been very lifting. It was hard for me to tell him, because for the past twenty years he has been my only parent I have. We may not be biologically linked, but, we are Father and Daughter. I needed and wanted his approval. This is who I am.

This hasn’t changed the friendships I have. Nor the love I have with my family. It is still me. The me that so many have known. This was the secret I kept in for years. For fearing how my friends and family would react. Skeptic or not, I accept you for who you are. And I love you just the same.

I thank the ones I told and never walked away from me. Thank you to the person I told; that even though they have a difference of opinion/belief, they don’t look at me any different then how they did since we were kids in high school together.

I’ve had a difficult path my whole life. This was just another challenge for me to get through. To share my gift with others. Something I believe I was meant to do and love doing. Part of my life purpose. This is my gift.

And I look forward to sharing my gift with you….

In love and light always,

Amanda